Written by: Brad
Raven stepped off the elevator ahead of Conrad. “Man, it’s good to be home!” he exclaimed. He stopped suddenly and spun around to stare at his companion, a wide-eyed expression of consternation on his handsome face. When had he started referring to the loft as ‘home’? He had never once considered any of the numerous places he had lived in since leaving the reservation, home.
‘Shit, I better get this out of my head, ‘cause it will only lead to disappointment,’ he thought with self-derision. “I’ll just put my bag in the bedroom, Conrad.” His attempt at distracting from his unintended revelation was unsuccessful.
“You’re heading in the wrong direction, kid.” Conrad wheeled towards his own bedroom. “I’ve a surprise for you.” He was pleased with what Raven’s declaration had revealed.
Opening a door on the far side of his room, Conrad invited Raven to enter. “It’s all yours, a space of your own for as long as you want. We can share the master bath.”
Raven walked into the ten-by-twelve ex-storage area to see it had been completely transformed. Gone were the boxes of rarely used clothing, shelves of old books and magazines, along with the miscellaneous items that had all but been forgotten. Instead there was a single bed, a nightstand, a chest of drawers and a small workstation.
“Where’s all the junk that was in here?” Raven bluntly inquired.
Conrad laughed at Raven’s lack of artfulness. “Most of it made its’ way to the trash bin where it should have been long ago. Brandon’s ‘junk’ as you refer to it, is in a locker in the basement.”
“So this means I won’t have to leave when your friend gets home?”
“You got it, kid!” Conrad smiled at the man’s shy grin of pleasure and watched as Raven walked over to the French doors that opened out onto the deck. “You have to go through my room to get to yours from inside the loft, but you have our own entrance from outside.”
“When did you install the new doorway and get everything fixed up?” Raven was having trouble taking it all in.
“While you were in the hospital; had a little help from some friends. We just finished this morning before I went to fetch you.”
“Thanks, man. This is great!” Raven considered his words inadequate in expressing how he felt at the moment. He worked at swallowing the lump in his throat. He turned and for the first time noticed his art portfolio lying on the bed. He glanced uncomfortably at Conrad.
“Adrian found it under Brandon’s bed. Don’t worry, Raven, no one looked in it and would not, without your permission.” Conrad heard the sigh of relief and noticed the relaxed stance. “Let's go to the living room to have our talk. It will be more comfortable there.”
Raven complied with the suggestion and followed the older man’s lead. He stood by as Conrad maneuvered himself out of his wheelchair and onto one of the leather sofas.
“I’m getting a drink, want one?”
“Yes, please. Orange juice will do.”
Handing Conrad a glass, Raven informed him of his thoughts. “I just want to let you know up front that my listening to what you have to say doesn’t automatically mean I’m agreeing with it.”
“Fair enough.” Conrad smiled and kept his eyes on the other man as Raven took a seat across from him. “Although I was planning to ask questions first.”
“What kind of questions?” Raven asked, misgiving causing his eyes to narrow.
“Tell me, Raven, who have you loved besides your mother and grandfather?”
“Why would it be necessary for me to love anyone?”
“It’s not, and I guess that answers that question. Has there ever been anyone you cared about or looked up to?” Conrad watched his companion shift uncomfortably and wasn’t surprised when Raven resorted to anger in order to mask his uneasiness.
“Look, Conrad, ten years ago I was with the wrong group of kids at the wrong time. It only happened once but things were blown out of proportion and they took me from the only home I’ve ever know, to shuffle me from one place to another. I was only twelve years old at the time, for shit’s sake. The only emotion I felt for a long time was hatred; it helped me deal with the fear, the pain and the hopelessness. Now, I have no feelings for anyone or anything.”
“How many homes were you in, Raven?” Conrad maintained a calm manner and tone of voice, regardless of the anger he was experiencing on behalf of that displaced youngster so many years ago.
“After the first dozen, I didn’t bother keeping track. It was never important.”
“Why do you think there were so many?”
“Because no one wanted me and I only wanted my grandfather. I wasn’t able to resign myself to living anywhere other than where I wanted to be. I was what the system termed ‘incorrigible’ and I worked very hard to live up to their expectations.” Raven’s eyes dared Conrad to berate him for his attitude and tell him he deserved everything he got.
Conrad patiently shook his head and ignored the challenge. “So you are saying that you have never met one solitary soul you could or would admire and trust, is that right?”
“You got it!” Raven would never admit there was one such person because he’d first have to acknowledge that fact to himself and he was afraid to go there.
“Hmm, including yourself,” Conrad mused softly, almost under his breath.
Raven questioningly quirked an eyebrow and waited for clarification.
“Have you developed any self-love, Raven?”
“Yeah, right!” the younger man snorted contemptuously. He drained the last of his juice.
“I think that is an excellent premise on which to establish our rules and consequences. Together we are going to help you treat people respectfully and thoughtfully, yourself included."
“So the rules would be….what exactly?” Raven wanted to get this conversation over with. “I hope you’re not expecting me to answer to you for everything I do, because you are in for a major disappointment.”
“I expect both of us to keep each other informed of our whereabouts, to be on time and mindful of each other’s feelings. It is no different than how Brandon and I have conducted ourselves since becoming good friends.” Conrad observed the expressions parading across the other man’s features and waited patiently for a response.
“Anything else?” Raven cautiously asked. He acknowledged that given his tendency to keep people at arms’ length by being rude and uncaring, Conrad was being very reasonable.
“Yes, as a matter of fact there is. You are a valuable person, Raven, and it is time you learned to see that in yourself. It is time you learned to love and respect the man who is Raven Hunter.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Raven ducked his head and toyed with his empty glass.
“You can! I will help you. I know how it works, Raven, because I have had to do it myself; more than once actually.”
“And the consequences?” Raven hesitantly inquired.
“Very much in line with what happened the last time you lost control and let me take over.”
“That was a one-time occurrence, man, never to be repeated.”
“It worked though, didn’t it?” Conrad wasn’t surprised when his softly spoken query met with an abashed blush.
“In other words, you think discipline is the answer, right?” Getting a nod to his question, Raven requested an additional guarantee. “I really don’t do corner-time very well and I won’t be sent to bed like a naughty kid.”
“Would you consider timeouts, writing lines or grounding as productive deterrents?”
“I guess,” Raven shrugged indifferently, satisfied that he’d had some say in the set-up.
Conrad took a business card out of his shirt pocket and placed it on the coffee table. “We’ll start with this. The representative of Stedman’s new owner dropped it off. I told him you were indisposed for a few days but would be available tomorrow. You are to meet with him at ten o’clock in the morning at the shop.”
“I don’t think so,” Raven muttered, making a move to get up.
“You do not have a choice, Raven. Common courtesy dictates that you do so,” Conrad firmly admonished.
“Seems to me you’re the one playing at being the dictator here,” Raven muttered, much for form’s sake. He glared at the man facing him, folded his arms across his chest and crunched himself against the back of the sofa.
“I am merely pointing out your lack of options in the situation.” Conrad leaned forward and gently entreated, “Do you trust me enough to accept guidance from me; enough to permit me to discipline you, Raven?”
Black eyes gazed into hazel ones as Raven gave serious thought to what he was being asked. He had stood so long on his own, fought and clawed his way through the system without anyone by his side, and he was so tired of it all. But could he submit to the will of another, even knowing everything possible would be done to meet his needs and assist him in becoming someone he could be proud of.
“Why are you willing to do this, Conrad?” Raven murmured, unsure of what he was looking for.
“Because I care about you.” Hazel eyes solemnly scrutinized tearing, black ones. “Now, will you please answer my question, preferably without another one of your own.” Conrad gently smiled to take any would-be sting out of his words.
“Yes, I trust you!” was Raven’s quietly spoken, simple and honest reply.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment